Radiology Wife: A Happy Radiologist In Three Simple Steps

Here are three rules I have learned that will keep a radiology husband happy and healthy. (Note to Radiology Husbands: Print this out and put it on the refrigerator for your wife.)

Rule #1: Have dinner ready. This sounds like an easy thing to do, but when you are married to a radiologist you never really know when they will come home. Based on the procedures they are doing that day, their schedules fluctuate. This means that preparing meals that need to be timed precisely are out.

Also there are a large number of dishes that you should probably avoid due to unfortunate associations. Some of these are celery stalk metaphysis gazpacho, vertebral scalloping potatoes, linguine sign scampi and vanilla bean ice cream with honeycomb lung drizzle. You should also make sure that there are no dinner fork deformities among your cutlery and put away the salt and pepper calvaria grinders before starting the meal.

See, with just a little care you can still provide an excellent meal.

Rule #2: Provide diversion. Being a radiologist can be stressful and oftentimes your husband might not want to think about all the procedures and cases he did at work. In that case, here is your chance to share all the things that have been going on at home.

Once I had the opportunity of telling my radiologist that our daughter had a colander lodged on her head. This provided us with the challenge of cutting it off with trauma sheers (fail), wiggling (fail) and eventually succeeding with a pair of borrowed tin snips. Note to self: having the hospital operator page your husband to tell him about said lodged colander is probably not the best way to introduce this "entertainment" in to his day. However, having your 2-year-old interject "remember when I got a pot stuck on my head" randomly into conversation with a wry little smile just might be worth it.

Rule #3: Dissuade yourself from complaining if he is late or stays out all night. While this is a classic 1950s sentiment, it could not be more true for the wife of a radiologist to learn. If your husband has been working late than he has either gotten no sleep, or he has attempted to sleep in something termed a "call room." If he has gotten no sleep, complaining might make him turn into one of those crotchety radiologists we have all heard about. If he has attempted to sleep in the call room, he probably used it more as a place to practice sit ups between naps and emergencies.

Either way. Getting no sleep or doing abdominal exercises all night is really no way to improve your disposition. So don't complain... just get this radiologist a chocolate chip cookie, a glass of milk, and a comfy pillow. STAT.

So in case you are also a radiology wife and you want to remember these three steps, just memorize this limerick! It'll help you out in a pinch:
 

Dinner - diversion - dissuade,
That's how this game is played.
Watch what you cook,
Use laughter to hook,
And pamper if sleeping's delayed.